Clarity by Loretta Lost
Genres: Contemporary, New Adult, Romance
Fiercely independent Helen Winters was born completely blind, but she vowed never to let her disability keep her down. She did not expect a traumatic event to devastate her life and force her to drop out of college. Disillusioned by the cruelty of people, Helen retreated from society to live by herself as a reclusive writer in the woods—where no one could ever hurt her again.
When a brilliant young doctor shows up on her doorstep, promising her that his new research can give her the ability to see for the first time, Helen stubbornly refuses. She has learned not to trust anyone, and to rely only on herself. But Dr. Liam Larson will not take no for an answer. He makes it his personal mission to rescue Helen from her loneliness, and bring joy into her world once more—the joy she has denied herself for so long.
When Helen’s demons come racing back into her life, threatening to rip her apart and destroy the strength she has carefully rebuilt, Liam is the only one who might be able to save her.
Can he reach the broken girl in time, helping her to heal and see the world in a different light? Or will Helen’s grief send her spiraling out of control, lost to him forever?
When a brilliant young doctor shows up on her doorstep, promising her that his new research can give her the ability to see for the first time, Helen stubbornly refuses. She has learned not to trust anyone, and to rely only on herself. But Dr. Liam Larson will not take no for an answer. He makes it his personal mission to rescue Helen from her loneliness, and bring joy into her world once more—the joy she has denied herself for so long.
When Helen’s demons come racing back into her life, threatening to rip her apart and destroy the strength she has carefully rebuilt, Liam is the only one who might be able to save her.
Can he reach the broken girl in time, helping her to heal and see the world in a different light? Or will Helen’s grief send her spiraling out of control, lost to him forever?
EXCERPT
“Be quiet,” he whispers. “No screaming, or
I’ll rip your tongue out. I’m going to release you, but keep your mouth shut,
okay?”
I nod. The silence in the room is
deafening. My skin is prickled by rising goose bumps, and my heart furiously
pumps hot blood through my body. As soon as his hands release me, I swivel and
smash my fist into his face. He roars in pain, and I fling my foot outward,
letting my heel connect with his knee. Feeling his leg beginning to buckle and
crumple, I quickly duck away from him and lunge for the door. Grasping the
handle, I pull the door halfway open before I feel it being slammed shut. The
boy grabs a fistful of my hair at the back of my head and uses it to smash my
face against the door. I cry out at the
sharp pain in my nose, and my lip splits open against my teeth. I taste a bitter,
metallic liquid against my tongue. My head spins and I grow dizzy. I feel my
body being hauled away from the door and thrown to the ground amid boxes and
other debris. I struggle to raise myself onto my elbows to fight against my
assailant, but there is suddenly a heavy, crushing weight on top of me.
A large hand clamps around my neck and
squeezes. He is suffocating me.
“I can make you feel better, Helen,” he
says in a tender voice. “Shhh. Just relax. Relax and let me take care of you.”
I feel his hand reaching down to slip under my skirt. “Relax and spread your
legs.”
“Are you insane?” I hiss, clawing at the
hand he’s holding over my throat. He’s too strong. Tears flood my eyes once
again. “I thought you were nice.”
“I guess you missed one too many psychology
classes, huh?” he says with a laugh. He leans down and puts his lips very close
to my ear. “Just don’t worry, sweet thing. You can’t see me, so I’m not even
really here. Out of sight, out of mind.”
“You monster!” I scream hoarsely,
struggling against him. “How could you...”
He removes his hand from my neck and hits me across the face. My already bloody lip is swollen and pulsating. I am afraid for my life. Maybe I should stop fighting and let him do whatever he intends to do? My sister and father need me, and I can’t die. It would destroy them. They’ve lost too much already. I can’t seem to stop sobbing. I think of my mother. Maybe I should fight with the two-hundred-pound football player, and hope that he kills me so that I can be with her? My mind is a mess. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know where I am. I don’t know if I’m going to survive this.
“Think about calm ocean breezes,” the man
on top of me says in a soothing voice. “Shhh. My sweet Helen. Think about soft
waves of the ocean. Shhh. That’s all we are. Soft waves of the ocean.”
His sadistic banter chills me to the bone.
Why is this happening to me? Why is this happening to me now? Why, at my lowest moment, has the universe found a way to drag
me down even further—into an even deeper pit of despair? Is this some kind of
sick joke? I must be dreaming. This can’t really be happening.
But his thumb and forefinger continue to
press down painfully on either side of my windpipe. I gasp for breath as he
steals the life away from me. This is very real.
“Helen,” he coos in a singsong voice as he
moves on top of my body. “Helen, Helen, Helen. Such a pretty name, for such a
pretty girl. My sweet, sweet Helen. The things I’m going to do to you.”
I am not sure what this man looks like, but
I imagine that if I could see him, I would be staring up into the face of pure
evil. Perhaps I should be thankful that I will never have to behold something
so hideous. If I survive this, I
inwardly promise myself, I will have to
get stronger, somehow. I can never let something like this happen to me again.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Loretta Lost knows how dark the world can be, but chooses to believe in happily-ever-afters despite all evidence to the contrary.
Author links:
Author links:
Interview
Loretta Lost
#1. Why did
you choose to write about a blind heroine?
Due to the
first person narrative, the whole story is colored by the filter of the main
character’s point of view. It can make for an excellent reading experience to
have a unique personality who is special or charming in some way—maybe they’re
just incredibly witty or perceptive. Maybe they’re a hilarious pessimist or
self-deprecating downer. I thought it would be challenging and rewarding to
allow the reader to experience the story without vision to really put us inside
Helen’s world. I feel that since we get to know other characters based on who
they are instead of what they look like, there is a greater potential for deep
connections.
#2. The
first scene of your story is very heartbreaking and difficult to read. Why did
you choose to write about the subject matter of rape?
I posted on
one of my Facebook fan pages about rape once, and I had several of my readers
message me in private and share their experiences. It was quite shocking and
disturbing, and I was simply stunned at the frequency of these horrible events.
While I do believe there is little I can do to prevent this type of behavior by
simply writing, I hope that I can advocate compassion and caring for the
victims of abuse by showing the way it has affected Helen.
#3. It was
interesting to read about Helen’s retreat deep in the woods. What made you
choose this location?
The concept
of a reclusive writer living peacefully tucked away in the woods has always
been enchanting to me. I often dream of having a similar little writing haven
someday. I think being surrounded by nature and removed from the hustle and
bustle of the city, and the annoyances of people would be the ideal situation
for any writer. The specific location of New Hampshire was inspired by Walt’s
cabin in Breaking Bad. The winter scenery was so gorgeous; and just outside the window, the sky has been dumping heaps of magical snow on us for months. I couldn’t resist writing about such a pretty landscape and sanctuary for a girl who likes to call herself Winter.
#4. What
about your male lead? Why did you choose to make him a doctor?
I briefly
dated an ophthalmologist who shared plenty of interesting surgery stories with
me. However, he was boastful and condescending, and simply a horrible person. It
was like he used his job and helping people solely as a lure to impress chicks.
Sometimes, when people disappoint me in real life, I like to reimagine them as
better and more likable people and write them into stories. Liam is a man who
wants to help Helen because improving someone’s life will give him joy—not
because he gets something in return. (However, I did put some of the negative
attributes of my doctor into Owen’s character!)
#5. What’s
next for Helen?
You will
simply have to read on to see where her story leads. Helen has a difficult
struggle ahead of her, coming to terms with her past and trying to move forward
into a brighter future. She is a clever and strong girl, and if anyone can do
it, I know she can!
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